I’ll hold your hand~Truth & Dare Part 2. In my opinion, vulnerability & spirituality go hand in hand. I’ve come to realize later in life, as a late bloomer, which I don’t deny even in the slightest, holding hands with both vulnerability and spirituality intertwined has brought me exactly where I am supposed to BE. Along the journey down, rooting up into the path of what I call freedom. It doesn’t have to be “work” if you let go of that mindset, but if you want to label this thing called “self-love”, I’ve been “working” on my “self” BE ing what is deemed, vulnerable, and I’m used to it now. It is not only scary, but from my own experience, it’s certainly the first step into someone’s spirituality...like a drop of water leaving the ocean...or like a tree being uprooted from the ground. Since I was a child, growing up with the following saying ringing in the back of my head every once and a while “first comes love, then comes marriage…” The same holds true with this whole empowered mindset, within the spiritual realm that I was first introduced to slowly throughout my “yoga” “awakening” “truth”...whatever you want to call it..journey. Which ideally initiated February 2019, and further developed throughout my travels…” first comes vulnerability then comes spirituality…” Then comes the baby in the baby carriage? Haha just kidding...
To truly grow into your true nature, authentic SELF, you must first enter the “out of comfort zone”, otherwise known as, vulnerability, whether that’s traveling to another country, another state, speaking out in a group of people, or putting yourself out there on the internet. Have you ever been bullied before? I’m sure we all have had some sort of bullying, either in person or on the internet--especially nowadays with everyone on social media via personal or business relations. It seems to all be about comparing instead of supporting, self-judgment instead of self-improvement, having the most followers or best photo, reel, tik tok or whatever “new thing” society come out with...I didn’t even know what tik tok was unil 5 months after it came about as I returned back to America after living off-grid during the pandemic….and having to understand the meaning or tool we are all glued to called tik tok...and even just INSTA gram...reflecting on this thing we use as a tool to share...I mean….COME ON...wasn’t it supposed to be an instant photo platform to share what’s present in life...and NOW..what 7 years later, it’s literally tool after tool trying to understand how to post or reach a certain amount of followers...all owned by FACEbook. I can honestly say, thank goodness I was “stuck in the jungle” “stuck in paradise” whatever you want to call it, because it was the most magical healing time of my entire authentic upbringing. BE ing vulnerable in terms of coming back to civilization (during a pandemic) was probably the most challenging of it all, because I wasn’t the same self I was when I left, I was born again. And I was uprooted, moving into the journey I founded, the truth to happiness, love, spirituality, and I’m fucking proud of my SELF. I mean look at my body, my mind...can you tell as my “follower”? Haha. So this is me asking you to find compassion for not only yourself, but for this community, we are in called social media.
And here I am, pouring myself out on the internet like everyone else. It saddens me, like I recently shared in a previous post, having to not only be a photographer/filter editor, a caption writer, an influencer, a story about personal life in boxes….it’s a show. So why do we all do it? Because everyone does it, because all our friends and family members are on it so if we don’t, are we missing out? Yes, in some ways, but honestly, there’s gotta be something else coming about because honestly, I’m sick of this. So in that sense, we are all vulnerable to Facebook’s bullshit algorithms because we are all literally posting our life on it, or stocking, or comparing or mind fucking on the internet, instead of on our own life’s boxes...whether it’s personal or business-related, it doesn’t matter. And it’s one thing to take advantage of someone else’s energy but to try to take away one’s experience or dignity or “coming to terms with”...that’s where the boundaries come to play...oh boundaries and the internet...I could go on and on but that calls for another blog post.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter what it is or how it’s done really, it’s more about the feeling and journey through the changes, hardships, obstacles, triggers, burdens, new experiences, opening up wires in your brain. Not just through random instances, but shockingly, even with your own family, the very selves you think you can count on, is itself, a trigger, a hurdle, because, it’s another wonderer, mindset, energy channel...whatever words you use to speak your truth can be hurtful towards other selves in ways you would have never meant them to be, but later find out that’s what happens when you try to be truthful to your self instead of someone else’s version of your self. Literally, through every little step, you take down spirituality lane...which reminds me of that yellow brick road in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy taps her glittery red shoes and manifests her way back to another realm. So you don’t necessarily have to jump as I did when I backpacked the heck out of the world without even knowing what I was doing, but to just take that first step, is all I’m asking of you...yes, YOU. I dare you to comment below and give me an example of how you’ve tapped your glittery red shoes, or stepped off the deep end diving into your truth.
Or you could just keep going through the same easy motions, living vicariously throughout your mind’s eyes, your ancestral’s eyes, social norm’s eyes, other self’s lives eyes, and might not ever reach that ultimate truth you may be missing out of in your life, that you’ll never really know unless you’ve tried.
So would you rather truth or dare? That’s a game we’ve all played right...as a child...yet here we are as adults (maybe some children on here EH), playing a similar game with life...putting yourself out there, like a drop in the ocean, like a seed in the soil, like a child being birthed...we are all constantly growing, evolving, learning, developing, producing, it’s a neverending beautiful process or game that doesn’t stop...so why are you stopping yourself from the endless thrill of it all? That’s the most mind-boggling aspect of what I’m having to come to terms with as I sit back and watch what’s considered “normal” in the post-pandemic lifestyle. I was under the impression that we all got shaken up beneath our feet, digging into the root cause of our own BE ings since we didn’t have anything else to do besides worry and stress about who’s going to get infected, who’s been tested, who’s dying, who’s in power, who’s making all the rules, etc., the list goes on and on. And now what? It’s a similar feeling to stepping into the pandemic...it’s the same struggle bouncing out. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from this “out of comfort” feeling from what was considered “normal” which is completely different now because of a global virus...did you awaken to truth or dare...or both? I mean, if you want to compare, I just turned 31, haven’t had a “real job” in more than 2 years, and have to pick myself back up pos-pandemic financially, so...from that statement, what does my vulnerability tell you? Does that make you feel better or worse about your SELF?
Yes, we’re all in our own little bubbles popping away throughout the flows and blows of life, but why can’t we blow more bubbles so that everyone has a dare or an opportunity to be vulnerable enough to speak out, to dare to dream, to dare to deep dive into the true BE ing so that we can all become one step closer to that spiritual realm we all so scared of...no matter the religion...to enjoy the journey together as a community. As my mom constantly reminds me, happiness is not the destination, it’s the journey. Like I mentioned, I’m a late bloomer and I’m not in a rush to settle, though I’d be more than happy to come together as a community of curious BE ings vulnerable and spiritual enough to have both truth and dare in this life as we know it. How? I think I’ve displayed my show on here enough to prove the true SELF I am BE ing on my OWN in my OWN skin, to “show” as an example, just as well as “let go” and experience presently of what I would say is a personal passionate frustration with societal norms. Let's hold hands with vulnerability and spirituality...then comes the baby in the baby carriage...
From a book I recently read and holds true to this post.
“The earth is so richly endowed that the least we can do in return is to pay attention.
I so wanted them to see the world beyond the boundaries of their own skins.
All we need as students is mindfulness. Paying attention is a form of reciprocity with the living world, receiving the gifts with open eyes and open heart.” Braiding Sweetgrass